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Recently divorced and lonely, Tom Bluthardt turned to the Internet to find true love or at least some reasonably compatible women to date. It was not cheap. That was in February. He imagined he would get a couple of dates a month. Seven months have passed without so much as a just-checking-in e-mail from Boston Matchmakers. Bluthardt recalls a lot of fast-talking from Boston Matchmakers.
What bothers me is that I got a lot of fast-talking, too. A company representative insisted to me that she had been in touch with Bluthardt as recently as two months ago. Turns out it was almost seven months. The matchmaker may have confused Bluthardt with someone else or was trying to bluff me.
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You need to make dating a priority and make a conscious effort to leave time in your schedule for online dating, meeting people IRL, and going on dates. You get out of dating what you put into it. Aim to go on at least one date per week. Online Dating Overload: “Boston is a tech savvy city and online dating here is very popular, but it’s being seriously abused.
Today it seems as though people are using it as a game or ego boost, instead of dating with the intent to get offline and meet in person. It’s addictive, and activates the same reward center of your brain that we see in drug and alcohol use, releasing dopamine and giving you a “high” every time you match with someone, keeping you coming back for more every time, even when you’ve already connected with some great people.
The other issues is the “grass is greener” mentality, which is when you’re over inundated with choices online and you feel like there could be someone “better” out there, who you could meet with the ease of swiping your finger. The truth is, Boston is a small city and it’s packed with people, so to prevent yourself from slipping into this grass is greener mindset with online dating, it’s important to do some self-reflection to get clear on what you’re searching for.
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